amanda_land_v2

Sneezing and Tooth Brushing Don't Mix

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 23:10:41 GMT

Today I was merrily brushing my teeth when I suddenly and uncontrollably sneezed. That has never happened before and the result wasn't pretty. I tried to cover my mouth, but the toothbrush was in the way and I wound up stabbing myself in the gums instead. Then I had to clean toothpaste off of the computer screen. Yes, I was reading my email while brushing my teeth. Strange combination, but I hate staring into the mirror while brushing. It makes me feel narcissistic. Plus, it's boring.

LJ Cuts Working!

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 22:10:42 GMT

LJ cuts have suddenly started working on my LJ! (as you can see) I think it may have been a problem with Vista and was fixed with one of the recent updates. That's just speculation, of course, but Vista is fucked up and interferes with everything. You have to have patience and perform huge amounts of trouble shooting with Vista just to make normal programs usable. Even now, they don't expect a networking update until sometime this year. This means that we can't network our home computers until this update arrives and that I can't send to the printer without a cord. Annoying.

But I'm happy that the cuts are finally working!

Lee - Catalyst for Entropy

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 22:30:45 GMT

I love Lee to bits. Really I do. He's dealt remarkably well with my illness and pain, long after I would have kicked my own ass to the curb. He's sweet and kind and loving. But even after 10 years of living together, I still don't understand the boy. Lee is like the human hand of chaos. He is the catalyst for entropy in an ordered world and possibly the sweetest, most naive Bringer of Armageddon to ever walk the earth.

Now anyone who knows me knows that I am not a neat person, that is, I'm a really damn messy person. My workroom resembles a hellish distopia of books, dressmaker dummys, toys, partial mannequins, and clutter that makes me want to turn and run whenever I enter the room. But if you ask me where something is, I know where to find it (until Lee helped me clean the room). I also believe there are certain items one regularly uses that should have a specific home. For example, the scissors should always be in the top tiny drawer in the kitchen. Toothpaste should be in the bathroom, dishes should be in the dish cupboard, tupperware in the cabinet beneath the microwave, gardening tools in the shed, etc.

However, this is not a policy to which Lee subscribes. Yesterday, I couldn't find the floss sticks that are usually on the bathroom counter or in the medicine cabinet. I looked in both bathrooms, the kitchen, the nightstands, etc., but they were nowhere to be found. I finally asked Lee and his reply was, "It's hard to figure."

I eventually found them underneath the covers on the bed.

This type of bizarre placement is not unusual. I keep several tubes of toothpaste under the bathroom sink. When one disappears, I can just open another one. I have three sets of measuring spoons and cups because they disappear regularly. I often have to buy an item two or three times because once it gets home, Lee puts it into an alternate dimension where neither of us can find it. I once purchased new insoles for my sneakers while I was at the grocery store. Lee helped me put the groceries away and when I later asked where the insoles were, he said that there weren't any, and that they must have forgotten to put them in the bag. (Although I was sure they had.) Three months later, after I had bought another pair, I found them in the pet closet underneath the dog food container. HUH??

Every spare drawer and cabinet becomes a junk drawer.

Yes, it makes life frustrating, and occasionally brings projects and chores to a grinding halt. There are times when I can feel the buildup of steam inside my head, but it also teaches me not to hold material things too dearly. As a person with pack-rat tendencies, it teaches me to let go of the nonessentials and see the line more clearly between junk and nostalgia.

To my darling, thank you for the frustration! :)

I was going to fold the towels, but since I felt like writing (for the first time in many long months--2-years worth of months), I decided to actually write in my journal. @ <> @

LJ Cuts

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 18:26:23 GMT

Why, oh why, will LJ Cuts not work in my journal? Do I need a paid account? I'm following the directions, and let's face it, it's not rocket science. So why can I not use LJ Cuts?

Spanish for your Nanny

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 04:16:02 GMT

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 09:04:31 GMT

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as driven and ambitious.

Overall, your true self is passionate and physical.

With friends, you seem logical, detached, and a bit manipulative.

In love, you seem mysterious and interesting.

In stressful situations, you seem cheerful and optimistic.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 08:54:28 GMT

You Are a Smart American

You know a lot about US history, and you're opinions are probably well informed.
Congratulations on bucking stereotypes. Now go show some foreigners how smart Americans can be.

Are You a Dumb American?

Embarrassing Moments

Mon, 03 Dec 2007 20:29:07 GMT

On one of the forums that I frequent, someone asked the question: What is your most embarrassing moment. One moment? I have had so many embarrassing moments that I thought I would recount some here.

When I was fourteen, I was walking home from the recreation center. Some high school boys teams were playing soccer and there were some HOT players. I became so engrossed in watching them and appreciating their beauty (mentally drooling) that I walked into a lamppost which knocked me flat on my ass. God, it was soooo embarrassing!

When I was doing the Human Chess Match for the Renaissance Festival. I was cast as the White Queen on the chessboard. For my first match ever in front of an audience, I stepped out onto the board and faced my opponent (a really big guy--I was a sweet-looking girl--so I was trying to look tough and competent while feeling a wave of stage fright) when a woman's voice squealed, "That's my baby!" My mom was in the audience waving her hands and shouting and videotaping the whole thing. Everyone laughed. You can even hear it on the videotape.

Another Renaissance Festival Moment: Long after that incident, I became a part of the comedy stage show, The Washing Well Wenches, when one of the girls quit and my friend asked me to join. We wound up with a scheduling problem. We were booked for the run of the Michigan festival (I lived in Florida), but she was booked at another show for the first weekend, so I had to find someone to fill in for opening weekend. The stand-in, Mary, had never done live, interactive comedy before, and we only had a couple of hours to rehearse together the night before.

Well, the two directors and their entire entourage decide to watch our show--the first show of the day on opening weekend when we have never worked together before! Our timing wasn't sharp and coordinated, but the show went all right until the very end when "the evil pirate" a.k.a. Mary, was forced to walk the plank (jump into the well). She came out of the well, bowed, and we were doing our closing spiel when I saw the audience's mouths drop open and their eyes widen and fixate around chest level. I checked my blouse first (just in case), then glanced over at Mary. Her white peasant blouse had gone paper-thin and her chest was completely exposed, as though she wasn't wearing a shirt at all. She had the darkest, biggest nipples I had ever seen in my life, especially on such a pale body! I grabbed a piece of laundry (a prop--we were the laundry women after all) and stuffed it down her blouse. Thinking I was doing some improvisational bit, she pulled it out. "NO!" I shouted, so embarrassed, I was shaking and couldn't even form sentences to explain what had happened. I stood in front of her with my arms spread and grabbed her pirate hat, holding it in front of her chest. She finally caught on and we ended the show.

The directors were surprisingly understanding and said that accidents happened. Mary was happy that we got really good tips due to the accident, but I was mortified. The ladies in the audience seemed the most sympathetic, maybe because my embarrassment was so obvious and real. They were the ones who gave us the biggest tips! In the past, the wenches were always careful to make sure that our clothes were adjusted properly for the dunking in the well, but I hadn't thought to tell Mary. I really thought that was something that wouldn't have to be explained, 'cause when I played the pirate, I always made sure to wear dark clothing and was careful to the point of paranoia. Ah well, you live and you learn.

The NYT Article and my pain explained

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 14:51:15 GMT

The article below was sent to me by Wendy and it was very helpful and informative. I have neuropathic pain, the kind that “results from abnormal nerve function or direct damage to a nerve.” and is probably caused by radiculopathy, spinal stenosis, or spinal cord injury (from the bone spurs irritating the spinal cord).

The damaged nerve fibers “can fire spontaneously, both at the site of the injury and at other places along the nerve pathway” and “can continue indefinitely even after the source of the injury has stopped sending pain messages.”

“Neuropathic pain can be constant or intermittent, burning, aching, shooting or stabbing, and it sometimes radiates down the arms or legs,” she adds. This kind of pain tends “to involve exaggerated responses to painful stimuli, spread of pain to areas that were not initially painful, and sensations of pain in response to normally nonpainful stimuli such as light touch.” It is often worse at night and may involve abnormal sensations like tingling, pins and needles, and intense itching.

The above paragraph exactly describes my symptoms and I want to weep with relief that they're recognized, especially the "sensations of pain in response to normally nonpainful stimuli such as light touch.” Even a light touch is sometimes so painful.

Chronic Pain Article in the NYT

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 14:39:23 GMT

Living With Pain That Just Won’t Go Away

By JANE E. BRODY
Published: November 6, 2007

Pain, especially pain that doesn’t quit, changes a person. And rarely for the better. The initial reaction to serious pain is usually fear (what is wrong with me, and is it curable?), but pain that fails to respond to treatment leads to anxiety, depression, anger and irritability.

At age 29, Walter, a computer programmer in Silicon Valley, developed a repetitive stress injury that caused severe pain in his hands when he touched the keyboard. The injury did not respond to rest. The pain became worse, spreading to his shoulders, neck and back.

Unable to work, lift, carry or squeeze anything without enduring days of crippling pain, Walter could no longer drive, open a jar or even sign his name.

“At age 29, I was on Social Security disability, basically confined to home, and my life seemed to be over,” Walter recalls in “Living With Chronic Pain,” by Dr. Jennifer Schneider. Severely depressed, he wonders whether his life is worth living.

Yet, despite his limited mobility and the pain-induced frown lines in his face, to look at Walter is to see a strapping, healthy young man. It is hard to tell that he, or any other person beset with chronic pain, is suffering as much as he says he is.

Pain is an invisible, subjective symptom. The body of a chronic pain sufferer — someone with fibromyalgia, for example, or back pain — usually appears intact. There are no objective tests to detect pain or measure its intensity. You just have to take a person’s word for it.

Nearly 10 percent of people in the United States suffer from moderate to severe chronic pain, and the prevalence increases with age. Complete relief from chronic pain is rare even with the best treatment, which is itself a rarity. Doctors and patients alike, who misunderstand the effects of narcotics, are too often reluctant to use drugs like opioids, which can relieve acute, as well as chronic, pain and may head off the development of a chronic pain syndrome.

Why Pain Persists

The problems with chronic pain are that it never really ends and does not always respond to treatment. If the pain initially was caused by an injury or illness, it can persist long after the injury has healed or the illness defeated because permanent changes have occurred in the body.

Mark Grant, a psychologist in Australia who specializes in managing chronic pain, says the notion that “physical injury equals pain” is overly simplistic. “We now know that pain is caused and maintained by a combination of physical, psychological and neurological factors,” Mr. Grant writes on his Web site, www.overcomingpain.com. With chronic pain, a persistent physical cause often cannot be determined.

“Chronic pain can be caused by muscle tension, changes in circulation, postural imbalances, psychological distress and neurological changes,” Mr. Grant says on his site. “It is also known that unrelieved pain is associated with increased metabolic rate, spontaneous excitation of the central nervous system, changes in blood circulation to the brain and changes in the limbic-hypothalamic system,” the region of the brain that regulates emotions.

Dr. Schneider, the author of “Living With Chronic Pain” (Healthy Living Books, Hatherleigh Press, 2004), is a specialist in pain management in Tucson, Ariz. In her book, she points out that the nervous system is responsible for the two major types of chronic pain.

One, called nociceptive pain, “arises from injury to muscles, tendons and ligaments or in the internal organs,” she writes. Undamaged nerve cells responding to an injury outside themselves transmit pain signals to the spinal cord and then to the brain. The resulting pain is usually described as deep and throbbing. Examples include chronic low back pain, osteoarthritis, rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, headaches, interstitial cystitis and chronic pelvic pain.

The second type, neuropathic pain, “results from abnormal nerve function or direct damage to a nerve.” Among the causes are shingles, diabetic neuropathy, reflex sympathetic dystrophy, phantom limb pain, radiculopathy, spinal stenosis, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s disease, stroke and spinal cord injury.

The damaged nerve fibers “can fire spontaneously, both at the site of the injury and at other places along the nerve pathway” and “can continue indefinitely even after the source of the injury has stopped sending pain messages,” Dr. Schneider writes.

“Neuropathic pain can be constant or intermittent, burning, aching, shooting or stabbing, and it sometimes radiates down the arms or legs,” she adds. This kind of pain tends “to involve exaggerated responses to painful stimuli, spread of pain to areas that were not initially painful, and sensations of pain in response to normally nonpainful stimuli such as light touch.” It is often worse at night and may involve abnormal sensations like tingling, pins and needles, and intense itching.

Some chronic pain syndromes involve both nociceptive and neuropathic pain. A common example is sciatica; a pinched nerve causes back pain that radiates down the leg. In some cases, the pain of sciatica is not felt in the back but only in the leg, making the cause difficult to diagnose without an M.R.I.

Beyond Physical Problems

The consequences of chronic pain typically extend well beyond the discomfort from the sensation of pain itself. Dr. Schneider lists these potential physical effects: poor wound healing, weakness and muscle breakdown, decreased movement that can lead to blood clots, shallow breathing and suppressed coughing that raise the risk of pneumonia, sodium and water retention in the kidneys, raised heart rate and blood pressure, weakened immune system, a slowing of gastrointestinal motility, difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite and weight, and fatigue.

But that is hardly the end of it. The psychological and social consequences of chronic pain can be enormous. Unremitting pain can rob a person of the ability to enjoy life, maintain important relationships, fulfill spousal and parental responsibilities, perform well at a job or work at all.

The economic burdens can be severe, especially when the patient is the primary breadwinner or holds a job that provides the family’s health insurance. Only about half of patients with chronic pain “who undergo comprehensive multidisciplinary pain rehabilitation are able to return to work,” Dr. Schneider reports.

As for the notion that chronic pain patients are often malingering — seeking attention and escape from responsibilities — pain specialists say that is nonsense. No one in his right mind — and most patients were in their right minds before the pain began — would trade a fulfilling life for the misery of chronic pain.

This is the first of three columns on chronic pain. Next week: How family and friends can help.

Roast Beef

Mon, 19 Nov 2007 07:26:05 GMT

I made my first-ever roast beef tonight! It was so easy to make, and it came out very tasty! I feel quite proud of myself. It's a shame that Lee doesn't eat red meat, 'cause he's missing out on deliciousness. Well, more for me!

I usually try to cook something that Lee will also eat, but sometimes it gets tiring to make chicken. (He eats fish too, but somehow, we usually only have chicken in the house, and he only likes certain dishes.) Remember on Gilligan's Island how they would have coconut pie or broiled coconut or coconut flambee? That's how I feel about chicken here. Just as Mommy Dearest shrieked, "No more wire hangers!" I want to shriek, "No more chicken!" I guess I would have to flog Lee with a chicken while saying that, but that would be kind of kinky. As Terry Pratchett said, "Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole damn chicken."

If peple were made of string...

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 06:52:39 GMT

If people were made out of string, would scissors be banned?

Raw Video: San Diego Mayor Sanders Supports Gay Marriage

Sat, 13 Oct 2007 17:30:19 GMT

Lost in Translation

Tue, 11 Sep 2007 22:31:42 GMT

For anime fans, this is a really funny comic strip about anime licensing.

http://www.vgcats.com/anime/?strip_id=0

I've been doing laundry, washing the dog beds and towels, emptying the wastepaper baskets in the bedrooms and bathrooms, and scrubbing out the bathtub. Since my back is so bad, I've started using a long-handled brush and lots of bleach spray cleanser so I don't have to bend. It works! If only I could bathe the dogs that way! Tomorrow, I'm going to try to replace the O-rings in the tub faucet since they drip. I think I can do it. Wish me luck!

Free Boca Burgers on Craigslist

Fri, 07 Sep 2007 19:07:09 GMT

I came across this in the free section on craigslist and laughed my butt off. Even when I was a vegetarian, I wouldn't have picked them up for free. She makes them sound soooo appealing (LOL):

Been on a diet and doing pretty well, so I'm at Costco and spot Boca Veggie Burgers (16 Pack), Vegan approved-Now if that isn't committment I don't know what is.

Yesterday I broke the seal on the pack and stuck one on the grill next to a couple of real burgers and hot dogs for a little at-home casual dining. De-lish I was thinking. So I burned that bad boy a little on both sides and slid it in between two halves of a low fat bun. Umm.

First bite-damn, that's weird, maybe the bun is stale. Bite two, ugh, damn it tastes like rotten fish mixed with flavored cardboard-but it does have sort of a nice greenish/brown hue to it. I gave up and quickly wolfed down a couple of spare hotdogs, the diet will have to wait.

So, today I'm thinking maybe I was too hasty so I decided to give em' one more try and this time I pan fried that puppy. A little pam, a little olive oil to make it sizzle and even a little Tony's seasoning to kill, er enhance the flavor. One bite, oh god, even worse. Smothered it in Salsa, no joy.
So, you Vegans have my respect for being able to take that crap every day.

I will give these "Burgers" or whatever they are to the first person that asks for them-you pick up. These are individually sealed, frozen Bocas, only about 4 days out from Costco. If they are still here by Friday, I'm gonna take them to the city dump.

Sorry, no pictures.

JB

Promise to post

Sat, 11 Aug 2007 21:11:08 GMT

So, I still haven't told anyone about my LJ. Probably because I wasn't able to update it. In fact, once again, it has been months due to crazy, crappy, medical problems followed by surgery which I'm currently recovering from. I'll go into the details later. So I'm going to start with the trip to Florida that Kris & I took about two months ago. I'm going to write it up and will post soon! Scouts honor! (although I was never a scout)

Christmas is Gone

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 05:36:36 GMT

It’s Sunday, gray and foggy outside. Strings of rain intermittently unspool from the clouds. Lee is putting away the Christmas decorations. The weeble-wobble Santa is wrapped in bubble wrap. The pine-tree girl spreads her arms wide and lays down in her box. The plastic tree goes to rest in a plastic bin, slumbering for another year. This tree is illuminated and separates into three pieces. On the tree I grew up with, you had to attach each individual limb, around and around and around. It was time consuming and prickly, leaving long scratches down your arms when you reached to the middle to hook the branch to the pole. (Because of my crazy allergies, I can’t have a real tree. I wouldn’t be able to breath through the entire Christmas season if we have pine trees in the house.)

The dog bed (the old comforter that became their bed) is back in the corner where the Christmas tree had stood. The season has passed like a soft breeze, unseen, barely felt in a haze of Hydrocodone. I can’t believe Christmas is over. It was the least stressful holiday I’ve ever had. Who can get stressed while lying flat on one’s back, lost in a sea of painkillers? And I didn’t have to shop for holiday presents, stressing over what to get Lee’s family.

Propane and Propane Accessories

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 14:23:01 GMT

So last weekend, WOO, the Women of Outworlders, went to a cabin in Ellijay for fall apple picking. My coworker, Marilyn, had been talking about apple picking and the idea lodged in my head. We stayed at The Dragonfly cabin owned by one of Wendy’s old clients so we were able to stay one night free! And mountain cabins these days, they aren’t your grandaddy’s mountain cabins. They’re a far cry from the one-room composites that resembled a set of Linkin’ Logs. They are elegant 2-3 story affairs that rise gracefully up the mountainside with shiny wooden floors and faux rustic furnishings.

We were only staying a couple of days, so I expected that we would buy some groceries, maybe some cold cuts, and grill one night, maybe pick up some fast food, or eat at a local restaurant. But someone spoke up and offered to cook breakfast one morning, followed by another person offering to cook dinner one night, and so on and so on. Eventually, someone said that we should each cook a meal while we were there. What? Are these people nuts? Were we going to spend the entire weekend cooking? I was flabbergasted. Well, that reinforces some stereotypes about girls. And here I thought I was overly sensitive about supplies due to my food allergies. Not to mention the fact that I felt some performance anxiety about cooking for a group of people, with the context of my food allergies while in a house I’m completely unfamiliar with. Especially since I’m a very mediocre cook. I had visions of everyone taking a bite of food immediately gagging.

Anyway, I chose grilling hamburgers. It was yummy, outdoorsy, warm in the cool October. And we could make s’mores! (Or could have, if I hadn’t forgotten to buy marshmallows.)

When my turn arrived on Saturday night, I determinedly ventured outside and uncovered the grill. It was a propane grill. Now, I grew up with charcoal. I like charcoal. Charcoal is easy. And tastes good. You put charcoal in, douse it with lighter fluid, light it with a match, and let it get hot. Position hamburgers on rack, and you’re good to go. Did I mention that this was propane? Already, I was regretting my decision to tackle the mysterious box that contained flame instead of electricity. All right, I can do this. It had instructions clearly printed on the grill itself. Right on! I read the instructions, turned the dial to the fire symbol, and rapidly pressed the red ignition switch, as the instructions dictated. Nothing. I waited a bit, then tried again. Still nothing. I tried the right side. Nope.

Kris Harter came out.

“Is the propane tank open?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I said.

“Try turning the dial.”

I squatted down and turned the dial to open. There was a satisfying hissing sound. Huh, who knew? Once again, I turned the dial and smacked the ignition button like I was playing Whack-a-Mole. Still nothing. The heel of my hand was beginning to hurt.

We eyed the grill.

“Maybe there’s nothing left in it,” Kris H. suggested.

“Hmmmm.”

Kris R. came out.

“You might have to light it with a match,” she said.

A match? Stick a lit firebrand into an area filled with combustible, unseen gasses? No way!

“I’ll just cook them on the stove,” I said, gathering up the hamburger patties, fully prepared to retreat into the known and comfortable realm of electricity.

“It’s simple. I’ll do it,” Kris R. said. “Do you have matches?”

“Nope, not me. I don’t smoke. Guess I’ll have to cook these on the stove after all. Oh well.”

She looked at me.

“I’ll find some,” she said. And she did, lighting the grill with a minimum of fuss and zero explosions.

Well, all right then. I slapped the burgers on the grill, and we were good to go.

First Post - Again!

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 04:55:46 GMT

Oy, I allowed my other journal to lapse and fall into ruin. So here, I shall endeavor to actually POST! Wish me luck! Look, already I'm failing to post properly, but too darn tired at 1:00 am to remedy the situation. Ah, insanity, take me away.