amanda_land_v2

Poem: Spacemen

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:29:34 GMT

My first poem in a veeeeery long time. Please be kind. I do know that my poems are not to everyone's taste.

Spacemen

Tethered to the mothership
With separate umbilicals,
We tumble through
An absence so black it darkens our souls.

The impossible blue earth,
Slowly unwinds
Beneath the moon’s all-seeing eye.

Swimming gracelessly,
Intent fills the vacuum between us.
Our radios crackle with static
And we have to trust.
Despite the bulky suits and smoky visors,
Despite the protective armor,
We have to trust,
Taking each other at our bald,
Dispassionate, naked words.

Computer Going Back to the Doc

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 05:47:01 GMT

I picked up my computer on Friday, but it has to go back to the doctor. They were supposed to fix the power jack, but if it is jostled at all, it loses the connection. It's so frustrating. Lee has been a darling about letting me use his computer, but there are several drawbacks to that.

One, I can't put the chair back/recline like on the couch and I can't sit up straight very long without pain so it makes it difficult.

Two: Lee doesn't have Word on his computer and many of my crochet, knitting, and jewelry patterns are in word so they don't open on his comp.

Also, Lee and I are both ... territorial about our computers, how they look and how they run. Heaven forbid something happens to his computer while I'm on it. There will be a stern look and long talking to. God help me.

Computer Amnesia

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 22:21:27 GMT

My laptop is in the computer hospital. The power jack needed to be replaced and it had trouble recognizing the cd/dvd input. Turns out Windows Vista was corrupted. Of course, Vista was corrupted from the planning stage. It never really worked properly. They will have to wipe it clean and reinstall everything. Now my computer will come back home and not recognize me. All its memories will be wiped. sob It will wake up and say, "Are you my mommy?"

xposted to facebook

Big 10 Tires, Missing Panels and Astonishment

Tue, 25 Aug 2009 17:33:59 GMT

Sunday, Lee and I went to the grocery store, and as we opened the trunk of the car to put away the groceries, I noticed that exposed wires ran across the entire rear of the trunk. And the panels over the wheel wells were missing. And the back panel was missing. For a full minute, I stared in astonishment before realizing what had happened.

Last month, we had our car worked on at Big 10 Tires - the closest place between where we lived and where the car had broken down and which was also open on a Sunday. The problem turned out to be a clogged fuel line that was easily repaired. No problems on that end. But I hadn't really used the trunk since then, maybe once at night (and since the trunk light doesn't work so I couldn't see a thing).

Lee just shrugged his shoulders. "Well, it's been a month and we haven't noticed. Nothing we can do now."

Oh, HELL NO!

I called Big Ten Tires on Monday, and they wanted to see the car, so I brought it in. They opened the trunk and we (myself, the store manager and two mechanics), all peered inside. It was fun watching the really surprised looks on their faces when they eyed the missing panels. One mechanic tried gamely, "It was brought in for a diagnostic for why it wouldn't run. That doesn't have anything to do with the trunk."

I gave him my best over-the-top-of-my-glasses-teacher-to-idiot-student glare. (although I'm not a teacher, I've perfected the glare.)

"Yes," I said, "the diagnostic indicated that it was a problem with the fuel line. It runs through the trunk and that's where the work was done."

Silence.
Then, "Oh."

"Well, how's it running?"

"It's running fine so far," I laughed. "Just missing the panels."

They promised to ask Joe, the guy who worked on the car, about it the next day. I am still waiting for a response.

NYC Prep

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 19:33:38 GMT

I recently watched a couple of episodes of the reality series about kids in a prep school. It doesn't actually show them in school, just gadding about, shopping and whatnot. It made me realize that prep school kids are just like any other kids, except maybe much snobbier.

From reading too many books (and watching various movies) about prep schools, I had an image of them as nefarious places filled with unspoken treachery. Places of intense hazing, betrayal, murder, rape, and incest. (You can thank the book "My Secret Friend" for that last one.) But just like anywhere else, they are trying with all their might to play grown-up, putting on the clothes and airs they think are "adult" and racing toward a future that will flit by with an unforeseen speed.

We are the Champions, My Friend

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 22:09:04 GMT

I won the Outworlders Spring Picnic Iron Chef Contest! For the third time! (I've entered three and won three.) Alan said I'm the "winningest" chef so far. The secret ingredient was peanut butter and I made a peanut butter drink. I found a recipe for something called Peanut Butter Punch and thought I would start with that as a base. It was made with equal parts evaporated milk and water, vanilla, 3 tbsp. of peanut butter, and a dash of nutmeg. And it sucked. So I added some hershey's chocolate caramels into it and more peanut butter. It started to taste better, but still wasn't right. So I tried the original recipe with sweetened condensed milk instead of evaporated milk and it was ridiculously sweet. Finally, I poured the two together, and voila! A tasty peanut butter caramel chocolate drink.

The winner picks the next "secret" ingredient so I chose zucchini. It will be fun trying to make a tasty desert with it!

I am a mediocre cook. It either tastes awesome or awful with little in between. But I love creative challenges. Maybe that's why I win.

Here's how the contest works: Outworlders has a spring and a fall picnic and for each one, we have an Iron Chef contest. Due to limitations, an ingredient is chosen ahead of time, and we make dishes to bring to the picnic. At the designated hour, there is judging and

Besides winning, I was happy to catch up with people I haven't seen for a while. It was a lovely June day with a slight breeze. The neighborhood children were scarce, but the shriek of the metal chains on the swings echoed in the warm air.

The Internet is Out!

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 17:49:06 GMT

A few days ago, I was in the kitchen chopping bok choy while Lee was outside doing yardwork. The sound of the electric hedge trimmers abruptly stopped. Moments later, Lee stomped into the house declaring, "The internet will be out until I return from Home Depot!"

LOL, it took him 3 hours to fix the cable he accidentally cut! Poor Lee!

Happiness is NOT Skyns Lifestyle Condoms

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 17:09:43 GMT

Sadly, once we put them to use, the condoms did NOT work out. After two test runs, it made things ... err ... burn and ... err ... go numb. Sigh. So it's back to the annoying polyurethane condoms.

Sigh. I hate my body.

Diagnosis: Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 20:42:27 GMT

Ain't that a mouthful? It is often shortened to POTS, which cracks me up. Whenever I say POTS, it makes me feel like a stoner. Yo man, I got some POTS here, LOL. Yes, I finally have a diagnosis (and there may be other things as well! Yuck, more tests).

So, what is it? The super simplified answer is this: Basically, my autonomic nervous system is broken. Blood isn't going where it needs to when I stand up or move around, or sometimes, even sitting or laying down.

POTS is a disorder characterized by a pulse rate that is too fast when the patient stands. Symptoms include rapid heartbeat, fainting, tremors, lightheadedness with prolonged standing, headache, chronic fatigue, chest pain, neuropathic pain, myofacial pain, impaired concentration, brain fog, and other nonspecific complaints.

While the hallmark of POTS is an excessive heart rate increment upon standing, patients often exhibit numerous symptoms of autonomic nervous system dysregulation, and research by the Mayo Clinic suggests POTS is a limited autonomic neuropathy. Many POTS symptoms seem to be caused by an imbalance of the autonomic nervous system's control over blood flow. It is the autonomic nervous system (ANS) that regulates the needed adjustments in vascular tone, heart rate and blood pressure upon standing. Some of the messages coming from the autonomic nervous system tell the blood vessels to relax or tighten. In people with POTS, the system seems to be out of balance and blood is not going to the right place at the right time to do what the body needs

The symptoms of POTS are life altering and debilitating at times. POTS patients use about three times more energy to stand than a healthy person. It is as if these patients are running in place all the time. Activities such as housework, bathing, and even meals can exacerbate symptoms. Research shows that POTS patients' quality of life is similar to those with congestive heart failure and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Twenty-five percent of people with POTS are disabledand unable to work. Most patients will have to make some lifestyle adjustments to cope with this disorder.

More on this:
http://www.dinet.org/pots_an_overview.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postural_orthostatic_tachycardia_syndrome
http://www.dinet.org/symptoms.htm

Holiday War

Sun, 28 Dec 2008 02:46:32 GMT

Why does "holiday" = "WWII" on the History Channel? I just turned the television on and up pops the History Channel. The network bug (that is the channel identifier) on the bottom right corner of the screen said "Happy Holidays from the History Channel" and was decorated with joyful holly. While on screen, a man in a foxhole was screaming and screaming under an attack of enemy fire.

I've noticed this rather gruesome trend occurring holiday after holiday. They show WWII marathons, be it Band of Brothers or various documentaries. Actually, the History Channel seems to think that history is WWII--or war in general--but predominately WWII. Where is the Vietnam War? The Korean War? The Gulf War, Spanish-American war? Even the Civil War. What about international wars and skirmishes? Don't they exist? Why is it all American wars?

Perhaps they are not aware that history is more than war. It is social history and scientific history and industrial history. And don't forget Global history. Though they do occasionally offer a crumb to those of us interested in something other than war, but those paltry crumbs are few and far between, so in general, I don't watch the History Channel very often.

I don't like war. Especially modern war where humans are faceless blades of grass to be cut down in a rain of bullets. It's a horrifyingly and lonely way of dying. At least in ancient warfare, you looked your enemy in the eye as you killed them and felt the weight of their death. To understand that you've taken a life, I believe you need to see the person as a human being, not a heat outline or a bombing target. But at least the History Channel doesn't glorify war and shows the terrifying reality.

So please, History Channel, more programming on social life and social history as well as war please. Some of us are squeamish.

Killing me with kindness

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 03:53:16 GMT

Today, I was outside raking the leaves that had piled up knee-deep. You could barely see the walkway. (Ack! The cat jumped on my arm as I was typing and caused the entry to post. I am i the process of finishing the entry now!)

Since Lee had to work overtime this week, I decided, as part of my physical therapy routine, I would help rake the leaves by doing small amounts every day. It would help strengthen my upper body gradually.

I brought the dogs outside as well and tied them with forty -foot leads. They had fun frolicking through the piles and undoing my work as I raked. Eventually, I had cleared out the flowerbed and formed two large piles of leaves in the upper triangle of the lawn, and cleared off the walkway as well. Pleased with my initial effort, I decided that would be enough for the day, when our neighbor, Stephen, came over and offered to help. I laughed and gently refused.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" I teased.

"No, I've finished all my work. I'll just go grab a rake," he said and disappeared, returning almost instantly with a rake.

At this point, how could I say no? It was so sweet and kind of him to offer. (Or perhaps our leaves were driving him crazy and he wanted them gone! Who knows?)

"So how do you want to do this? Do you plan to bag them or..." he asked.

"Err, I thought I would leave the bagging for another day. I thought I would form them into piles today."

"Why don't we make one big pile in the corner by the curb?"

I stared to the far, far end of the lawn - a distance that seemed to be receding.

"Um, sure," I agreed reluctantly.

It is very hard to explain to people that a person (me) with fibromyalgia and spinalstenosis and an ongoing neurological problem means you have to take things very slowly. Inhumanly slow. I don't want to do things in ten installments, but I have to or my body fails me. But I felt obligated to continue! Here was my kind neighbor working his butt off in my yard. I could hardly sit down and have him finish by himself.

We finally finished the front yard. I thanked him and he ambled on home. Then I went inside and crawled onto the couch, the pain still in the background. By the evening, I was ready to sob. Everything hurt so much!

It is now two a.m. and I am fighting the inevitable migraine from using my right arm too much. With the best of intentions, my neighbor killed me with kindness.

Cleaning Ads Targeting Women

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 07:01:27 GMT

I'm so glad someone finally addressed this because I've been thinking about it myself.

http://current.com/items/89317322/target_women_cleaning.htm

Crochet

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 04:09:58 GMT

Since I've been ill, I've taken up crocheting to be useful. Here are a few things I've made.

Potato Chip or Ruffle Scarf Candy Cane!

Seafoam Scarf

Amigurumi Head!

Ooops,forgot to LJ cut. I'm on it Holmes!

Sickness is as Sickness Does or More Than You Ever Wanted to Know About My Crappy Heath

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 20:28:03 GMT

Ugh! I went back on antibiotics and my white blood cells are staging a Monster Truck Rally in my body. All out war is occurring and my body feels like it's ready to shut down.

Bloodwork came back from one doctor once again as liver function low and "they'll keep and eye on it." Another has low thyroid, but it's right on the line and more tests are necessary, but they don't seem to want to treat right on the line despite all the symptoms.

I can't stand up for long without collapsing. Which they think is caused by a rare condition in which my body makes too much adrenalin and then not enough. And when I walk around, move, or exert in any way, I begin to tremble violently and will eventually pass out if I can't sit or lay down. Even if I sit up too straight, I'll begin to get sick. I kept going to various doctors, but they just seemed perplexed, batting me from doctor to doctor like a ping-pong ball.

I can't eat without running for the bathroom, I've been running an off-and-on, low-grade fever for months, and despite barely eating, I've gained weight.

It came to a head about a month ago when I went to my doctor for the constantly upset stomach. I could barely stand and collapsed in his office, going into shaking convulsions. Thank god my mother-in law, Kay, was there. She did a wonderful job of advocating for me. I was so out of it, I couldn't focus at all.

"If you don't know what it is," Kay said, "What should we do next? Go to the Mayo clinic? See another specialist? What type of tests should be done?"

My doctor, perplexed, up against the ropes by my mother's-in-law's pointed questions, looked down at me and said, "This is a House case."

"I don't want to be a House case," I said, teeth chattering uncontrollably from the violent shivers running through my body. "By the end of the episode, his patients are bleeding out of their eyes and all of their organs have been shut down. I'd like to figure this out before we reach that stage!"

So I was given Cipro for a week, sent to the hospital for more MRIs, and went to see a new internist.

I'll talk about the next round of visits in my next post. Things get interesting and frustrating.

Happiness is Skyns Lifestyle Condoms!

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 17:29:15 GMT

I am allergic to latex and while they have non-latex condoms, not only do they feel awful, like sandwich bags stuffed in my happy place, they also do not fit Lee. Durex was the only brand that was even close, and still would break half the time when he tried to put one one. Other brands wouldn't even get past the head. Polyurethane condoms just do not stretch one iota. I didn't dare try to help him put one on because there was no room for error here, know what I mean?

So I've been on a quest to find large non-latex condoms. I've tried google searches, visiting local shops (Insurrections, here I come!), and calling various places with no luck (Venus's Toybox was my last hope!). No one knows were to find them. People allergic to latex, who require a large condom apparently do not constitute a big enough portion of the population to cater to. (pun intended?)

BUT, two days ago, at Wal-freakin'-Mart of all places, I stumbled across Lifestyles Skyn condoms, just out on the market. They are made from polyisoprene. Knowing nothing about them, I decided, "What the hell?" I'd give them a try for the five dollar sticker price and little blurb on the box. I brought the box home and showed it to Lee. Curious, we opened one and tried it on. It was like a little piece of heaven for the penis. Not only were they thin, the feeling was awesome and they stretched with room to spare. There were no hard uncomfortable little folds that happened with polyurethane.

A new era has dawned for the latex intolerant. I don't know how they measure up to latex (it's been so many years since I've used one, I just can't recall what they felt like), but I don't care. These are like happy little sheep bounding through clouds. Pure happiness.

Some of you may wonder why condoms if I'm married. Well, there are times when it's necessary, such as when taking antibiotics. But also, I'm allergic to semen. It makes me itch like a mad dog and that does not make for enjoyable sex. So unless you want to pull out every time ...

Maybe I should just be a lesbian.

Here's the official blurb:
LifeStyles SKYN Condoms are a breakthrough in condom technology! The first condom made from a revolutionary new non-latex material called "polyisoprene". LifeStyles SKYN delivers the strength of premium latex, with the sensitivity of an ultra-thin condom. It provides a totally natural feeling for both partners, and the flexible material makes them extremely comfortable.

Unlike polyurethane condoms (a study is still being done), LifeStyles SKYN delivers PROVEN protection against pregnancy, and, if used properly, will help reduce the risk of transmission of HIV and other STIs.

What I Have Learned Today

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 08:17:16 GMT

What I Have Learned Today:

No matter how much you like reading and no matter how boring you find cleaning the bathroom, you should not try to clean the toilet while reading.

When Facial Wax Goes Horribly Wrong

Sun, 21 Sep 2008 08:34:46 GMT

I'm talking about that strip-wax stuff. Along with the other horrors of getting older, one must face the sheer terror of unwanted facial hair (made worse by being of Italian descent!).

As Lee said, " I noticed you were getting furrier, but I thought it was because you're Italian."

When you're young, you never think that is going to apply to you. The connection between older folks and bristly hair is just not apparent. Surely they were born that way, bristling straight from their mother's womb. But we don't see the process: the manic plucking, bleaching, and waxing, clipping and shaving that takes place behind the scenes. I guess when you reach a certain age, it's just too exhausting to continue.

Anyway, I bought this strip wax . I'd never tried this brand, but according to various customer testimonials, if you wanted to remove hair, you wanted nads. I took it home and followed the instructions. First apply the desensitizing wipe. Vigorously rub the strip wax between your hands to soften the wax. Apply to chin (or other area). Pull briskly in one motion. Eyes will water. Nose will run. Face will come off along with hair. Literally. I basically got what looked like severe rug burn on my face. The damned desensitizing wipes did not work. I could either say I tripped and did a face plant on asphalt or that I had a very happy time on a rug. Neither option seems particulary appealing.

After my face heals, I'm definitely sticking with tweezers, even if I grow a beard.

First Fanfic!

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 23:10:05 GMT

I'm writing my first Fanfictions lately. I've written short stories and poetry before, but never tried my hand at using someone else's characters. Currently working on a Viewfinder fic and decided to try an Eyeshield 21.

It will be Kurita (a.k.a. the man who will not be slashed, according to queen_yokozuna who writes amazing E21 fics) and Gaou, just to see if I can do it. Jeez, why do I only get inspired by challenges?

I love Eyeshield 21 and just don't understand why there isn't more love for this fandom. Of course, some of my favorite doujinkas don't allow scanlations of their work. Which is a shame. I think it would bring them greater recognition and allow more people access to it. Thanks to an old scanlation by Datenshi Blue, I was introduced to the work of the Circle, Punkish Dragoneer and fell in love with their work. I've been slowly collecting it, but can't understand what they're saying! Aaaaaargghhhh! I really want to know!

Anyway, with Dragon*Con coming up and trying to finish the giant-sized 4 and 8 sided D&D dice for nervouskricket , I am really busy right now.

In-laws, Expectations, and 13-Bean Soup

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 11:40:26 GMT

Last night, I invited Kay, my mother-in-law, over for dinner, along with our neighbor, Teigha (minus their hubbies, since both husbands were out of town on Business). It was completely casual. I mentioned that I wanted to have a bowl of soup with some yummy, crusty French or Italian bread for dipping and watch Project Runway.

I had made 13-Bean Soup, soaking the beans overnight and boiling them with smoked turkey legs (Lee doesn't ham or beef). Then I added tomato sauce, onions, garlic, some chili powder, salt, cracked pepper, diced potatoes, and carrots. Overall, it took about four hours to cook, but DAMN, it was GOOD! I also made a Chocolate Pecan Pie--recipe courtesy of Paula Dean from the Food Network and that was yummy too, although I added just a touch too much chocolate by accident.

We gathered up our bowls and drinks and adjourned to the living room where Lee put on some weird subtitled Russian movie. Not that I mind subtitles, Russian, or weird, but it just wasn't appropriate for the company. I flipped it to reruns of Project Runway that they were showing before the new one. Kay then spent the majority of the time talking almost solely to Teigha. Then, after NOT watching the show, she said that she liked the "other supermodel show better." That's fine, but when I mentioned that the recipe for the Chocolate Pecan Pie came from Paula Dean, she said that she hates Paula Dean. Then she manically started looking through our bookshelves for the genealogy book that she gave Lee because she wanted to show it to Teigha. I used to have all the photo albums on a certain shelf, but it fell and Lee had scattered them amongst the other shelves so I told him to help her look for it. (Of course, as usual, he had been completely ignoring her and she had been babying him--the usual pattern, so I had to flick water at him to get his attention) They couldn't find it. Lee said, "Sorry Mom, can't find it." and she said, "It's okay Lee, it's not just your fault. It's yours and SOMEONE ELSE'S." Hmmm, who could the someone else be, I wonder?

I feel this tremendous frustration, as though I can never be good enough or interesting enough to hold their attention or warrant their praise. I had a birthday one year and we met at Cafe Intermezzo. I had some friends with me, but made sure to speak to everyone, including Kay and Clyde. However, they went to a table of total strangers and smoked and talked with them through the meal.

Maybe it's my expectations. Do I expect too much? I really wanted to be close friends. They're the only family I have here, but I just don't ever feel comfortable with them. I always feel on edge. They make me feel as though my interests are completely unimportant and rather useless. Even with Lee, he makes me feel as though my interests are insignificant compared to his music. I hate trying to "get their attention." Why can't we have normal conversations like I can with other people? When I talk to other people, I become elated and astounded. Wow, I think, they're actually listening to what I say and considering my words. They're actually asking me questions. There's a give-and-take to the conversation, not just a random jumping of subject matter.

Sneezing and Tooth Brushing Don't Mix

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 23:10:41 GMT

Today I was merrily brushing my teeth when I suddenly and uncontrollably sneezed. That has never happened before and the result wasn't pretty. I tried to cover my mouth, but the toothbrush was in the way and I wound up stabbing myself in the gums instead. Then I had to clean toothpaste off of the computer screen. Yes, I was reading my email while brushing my teeth. Strange combination, but I hate staring into the mirror while brushing. It makes me feel narcissistic. Plus, it's boring.

LJ Cuts Working!

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 22:10:42 GMT

LJ cuts have suddenly started working on my LJ! (as you can see) I think it may have been a problem with Vista and was fixed with one of the recent updates. That's just speculation, of course, but Vista is fucked up and interferes with everything. You have to have patience and perform huge amounts of trouble shooting with Vista just to make normal programs usable. Even now, they don't expect a networking update until sometime this year. This means that we can't network our home computers until this update arrives and that I can't send to the printer without a cord. Annoying.

But I'm happy that the cuts are finally working!

Lee - Catalyst for Entropy

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 22:30:45 GMT

I love Lee to bits. Really I do. He's dealt remarkably well with my illness and pain, long after I would have kicked my own ass to the curb. He's sweet and kind and loving. But even after 10 years of living together, I still don't understand the boy. Lee is like the human hand of chaos. He is the catalyst for entropy in an ordered world and possibly the sweetest, most naive Bringer of Armageddon to ever walk the earth.

Now anyone who knows me knows that I am not a neat person, that is, I'm a really damn messy person. My workroom resembles a hellish distopia of books, dressmaker dummys, toys, partial mannequins, and clutter that makes me want to turn and run whenever I enter the room. But if you ask me where something is, I know where to find it (until Lee helped me clean the room). I also believe there are certain items one regularly uses that should have a specific home. For example, the scissors should always be in the top tiny drawer in the kitchen. Toothpaste should be in the bathroom, dishes should be in the dish cupboard, tupperware in the cabinet beneath the microwave, gardening tools in the shed, etc.

However, this is not a policy to which Lee subscribes. Yesterday, I couldn't find the floss sticks that are usually on the bathroom counter or in the medicine cabinet. I looked in both bathrooms, the kitchen, the nightstands, etc., but they were nowhere to be found. I finally asked Lee and his reply was, "It's hard to figure."

I eventually found them underneath the covers on the bed.

This type of bizarre placement is not unusual. I keep several tubes of toothpaste under the bathroom sink. When one disappears, I can just open another one. I have three sets of measuring spoons and cups because they disappear regularly. I often have to buy an item two or three times because once it gets home, Lee puts it into an alternate dimension where neither of us can find it. I once purchased new insoles for my sneakers while I was at the grocery store. Lee helped me put the groceries away and when I later asked where the insoles were, he said that there weren't any, and that they must have forgotten to put them in the bag. (Although I was sure they had.) Three months later, after I had bought another pair, I found them in the pet closet underneath the dog food container. HUH??

Every spare drawer and cabinet becomes a junk drawer.

Yes, it makes life frustrating, and occasionally brings projects and chores to a grinding halt. There are times when I can feel the buildup of steam inside my head, but it also teaches me not to hold material things too dearly. As a person with pack-rat tendencies, it teaches me to let go of the nonessentials and see the line more clearly between junk and nostalgia.

To my darling, thank you for the frustration! :)

I was going to fold the towels, but since I felt like writing (for the first time in many long months--2-years worth of months), I decided to actually write in my journal. @ <> @

LJ Cuts

Thu, 07 Feb 2008 18:26:23 GMT

Why, oh why, will LJ Cuts not work in my journal? Do I need a paid account? I'm following the directions, and let's face it, it's not rocket science. So why can I not use LJ Cuts?

Spanish for your Nanny

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 04:16:02 GMT

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 09:04:31 GMT

What Your Face Says

At first glance, people see you as driven and ambitious.

Overall, your true self is passionate and physical.

With friends, you seem logical, detached, and a bit manipulative.

In love, you seem mysterious and interesting.

In stressful situations, you seem cheerful and optimistic.

What Do People Think Of Your Face?